Fashion tunes

Here are my DJ friends Benny and Sooty, who play hip songs together under the name Kittens of Otara. I like to hoochie dance and prance and mince in front of their DJ booth - you know you want me Sooty. Anyway I told them to make me a mixtape; here's what was on it:

1. Time to Pretend by MGMT
2. Close to Me by The Cure
3. Mr Brightside by The Killers
4. Dog Days Are Over by Florence & the Machine
5. Some generic song by The Strokes
6. Some generic song by Joy Division
7. A Kills song
8. Sunday Girl by Blondie
9. Sexxx on Fire by Kings of Leon
10. Paper Planes by M.I.A
11. Mmmbop by Hanson

Ageless Be-U-Tay

Look at me. Gosh. I'm just so damn good looking , no? amazing bone structure, whiskers for Africa, piercing eyes... I hope that I will look this beautiful forever. It's the amazing thing about being a cat. Ageless be-U-tay. Much like this sensual and sexual woman below:

This is Briscoes lady. She has ageless be-U-tay. over the years she has become a familiar household face, smiling and beaming from the TV and mail catalogues, advertsing and whoring herself out alongside bedding and kitchen utensils. I hope that my career as a cat model will live on forever, much like Briscoes lady. te quiero Briscoes, te quiero. xx

Check yo weave

Hey bitches! Have you seen the cover of my gurrl Nicole Richie's new book? The Truth About Diamonds is one of my all time faves, so I'm, like, uber-excited to read this new offering from my idol and good friend. But this bitch on the cover needs to sort out her weave! She looks like a high-class version of Kesha or something. Ew. Sort it out Nicole. Love, Zumi xoxo

Don't Look At Me...

Here's my cutie poos Frenchie poo poo friend Charlotte Catsbourg. She's so hot. She's a muse to Balenciaga Cat and sings songs about incest on her guitar. Gotta love the French. Love you Charrr gurrrl.

woof!

A pup with brown bangz

Werrrking her thang

A pair of A.Wangz

Woof! Woof! bang bang. xx

- A poem by Zumi Reeley, fashionable cat.

It's not me , it's you

I was pawing through my gazillion pictures today and found this one of me and my gurl Lilly Allen stumbling out of a nightclub in London in April. I'm such a party animal! Lily was trying to pick me up after I tripped on my spiky Louboutin for Rodartes. Lilly totally got ash all over her Chanelz pochette bag though. She got a bit upset cos I was slurring things at the paps like "fuck off and die" and "I'm just a cat, fuck off and die"... Look, it's not me, it's you.

Ask Zumi

Don't get me wrong: I'm still a fan of the streetstyle blog. Jakz & Jillz and The Catorialist will always be favourites for when I want to judge and mock the fashion of others. But there's a new trend emerging in the blogosphere: the ask me anything tumblr. They're fucking ugly but they're a constant stream of dumb questions and brutally honest answers - so I've decided to jump on the bandwagon with Ask Zumi. Because my opinion is more important than yours!

Here are answers to some style questions that I keep being asked by random cats on the street. If you have a question you'd like to Ask Zumi, comment and I'll answer it in my next instalment. Kiss kiss!

Can I be your friend?
If you work in fashion or are important, yes.

I'm starting a new job in two weeks. They've told me the dress code is 'dress casual'. I don't really know what that means, but I've heard dress shirts and dress pants. I haven't got much money to spend on this stuff but need to get enough things to last me at least the first month - where do you recommend I go? What do I buy?! Help!
Are you retarded? Do you really need this much help getting dressed? Stop reading my blog please.

Why are the same people and designers always featured in NZ fashion magazines?
Sigh, I don't know but it's SO BORING!! No wonder no one reads them: they all feature the same crap. Yawn.

Who are your style icons?
Right now, Lil' Kim and Donatella. Next week, who knows?

I see you are a very good trend follower. Have you ever considered forcasting?
Have you ever considered spell check? But yes, it's something I'd love to do.

What other blogs do you read?
I don't read blogs, I am all about paper. Magazines! Newspapers! Blogs suck ass, except mine of course.

How can I become famous and important in Auckland? I want to be front row at fashion week, but I don't actually want to get a job in fashion - help!
Go out lots, befriend a social photographer (my favourite is the sexual Guy Coombes, but Olivia Hemus and Norrie are also good to suck up to), get your photo taken lots. Or just start a blog.

Who is the best-dressed Aucklander?
Definitely not the same people who always turn up in the social pages or Sunday or Metro magazine's best dressed list! I don't really know why humans keep rating in these lists? Yawn! There are so many fabulous and fashionable animals in this town. I like Karen Inderbitzen-Waller's rabbit - so chic! Anna Fitzpatrick's Olly is a babe - and so thin and inspirational - but was a bit overexposed for a while. Oh and Kathryn Wilson's cat is totally edgy. There are so many more but I just can't think of them right now.

Who are you really? Do you work in the fashion industry?
I'm Zumi! Jeez, so many people keep asking me this. Get over it: I am Zumi Reely.

Oh burn

Here's my friend Scone hiding in a cupboard. That's what she likes to do when she's feeling emo or stressed. You know what I like to do when I'm emo or stressed? Be a bitch and write in my burn book. Are you in my burn book? I've been approached by a few publishing houses who want to turn it into a book - so maybe one day soon you'll find out.

World at my Boo-tay

Here's a hot picture of my boo-tay. Sometimes, I'll get emails from PR people wanting to get a mention on my blog. I usually like to reply to them with an email saying "Kiss my Boo-tay" and attach this picture to the email. I'm such a bitch. HOLLA!

World at your paws

Who are you? Zumi Reeley
Occupation? Being a full time fabulous cat
Location? right now? SPQR, Ponsonby Road – Auckland


Your influences past and present? Look, I've said this many times before, a combination of sassy rich black TV girls, and unassuming female characters. Hot bitches like Jem, Mary Cherry from Popular and Lil Kim.

What shoes and clothes are you wearing? I am wearing Karen Walker Sunglasses, Lover dress and Platform clogs from Chanel, bought from a recent trip to Paris to visit Karl

Why have you chosen these shoes + outfit For e.g. Style, Comfort, Fashion? Because its a sexual combination and i'm a sexual cat, so it's a win win situation.


Favourite items or must haves? My diamond encrusted blackberry, a handy bag of catnip for a cat that's always on the go, my MAC kohl eyeliner and MAC nail polish for my claws; and a bottle of evian water.


What was the first pair of shoes you just had to have? My first pair would have had to have been the black Balenciaga wedges from Fall 2007. I asked my dear friend Nicolas to custom make me two pairs (one for each paw) so I could mince around the tuileries and pretend I was late for the cat couture shows. Mary Kate has a lot to answer for.

OMG!

This is my gurl Caitlan after seeing me in my new Topshops dress. She'd wanted the same dress but it was sold out. Shame bitch.

I can haz cheezburrgerr??

Hi bitches. Sorry been a bit lazy with posting. Been way too busy with shooting lately. I was booked for a major editorial for the next issue of Fashion Catterly Occasions on Friday; then I got asked to shoot a Vodka campaign on Saturday, for which I had no qualms about waking up for the 5am call time. Yes, I was a happy pussy sipping on vodka laced milk that eve.

Weekend was relaxing. caught up with my guurrrls, went hunting for mice in Grey Lynn Park; had a bowl of soy milk at Dizengoff and a gluten free mice muffin; came home and read this amazing book by one of my favourite websites around www.icanhazcheezburger.com

The cat on the front cover is actually an old pic of me when I was a slutty young kitten whoring myself out to all and sundry in the cat fashionz bizz. Those were the dayzzz. Go buy it sluts, and support your fave pussycat in the whole wide worrrld.

meowza!
kiss kiss.

loser

I've had a lot of time to reflect on my success thus far. With a few projects sidelined at the moment due to insufficient funding, I've taken a back seat to re-assess by options for the rest of the year. My reality TV show "Zumi's Gay BFF" was slated by the TV network; and my single "Sweet Dreams of a Single cats Ego" debuted at number #365 on the charts...in Taiwan.

Talking about my ego, it's been a bit hit hard lately, but never the less, you all know I'm a trooper. The modeling/dj-ing/poetry seems to be working out fine thus far...

it got me thinking about some burnt out stars. I'm not going to stoop this low, but here's a few losers who should really just give it up.

La Lindy Lohanita's: "hhhheeeeerrrreeee *burrrrp* commmeee heerrrreee *burp *burp*.... *fart* burp*"

La Mishka Bartonz: "Califorrrnia here we come, Califooorniiiiiaaaaaaaaaaahhhh...oooohhhh!!!! googly eyes!"

La Tara Reidz: "Errrrrr dude...where is my cock tail... err dude, like, totallyyyy mannnn, i'm such a babee *burrrp*"

La Toriana Spellito's: "weeeeeee!!!!!! *oink* *oink* weeee!!!!! thanks daddy!!! weeeeeeeee!!!!!! *oink*"

Give it up bitches, your time is done. Zumi's taking over this par-tay... that's all. Meow. xx

A glimmer of light on a cold winters day in my new Topshops

As a size zero cat, I can wear whatever I like.  I probably would have worn most of the new Topshop line at the Department Store in Takapuna because it's fun to look like a downtrodden fairy but I decided against the embellished pieces because I never wear sequins as much as I convince myself I might. The raw hem and asymmetrical patchwork quadrant are magical enough (this is me convincing myself that the peachy crop top layered dress is extraneous to my life..it's only kind of working).

 I slipped down layers of leaves on almost ninety degree slants and got entangled in disturbingly strong spiderwebs to get to this spot...it was completely blocked from the sun and encircled by the greenest life I've seen in Grey Lynn for a while. With the wispy dress and crunchy surroundings I ended up accidentally channeling one of my favorite movie characters, Pixel in Happy Campers ie. Jaime King as a bohemian (in every sense of the word) camp counselor dressed in sheer layers and glittery bits. You probably haven't seen it but you should. I think I caught it on TV once and now it's one of the very select movies I own. Not saying it isn't completely stupid too, because it is.

Talia: Here's where we tell you that this was the summer we lost our innocence.
Donald: But really, it's the summer we got it back.
Jasper: Excuse the cheese, but love matters, respect matters, and causing pain is never cool.
Pixel: Actually causing pain is about the coolest thing you can do, but cool isn't what it used to be.

feelers tap

I had a request from one of my fans to post this up from my 'drop dead feelers post last Saturday. enjoy. meow. x

pug love

OMG! I was on a shoot today with the hottest male model around. His name is Tito. I'm in love! Michael Whittakkers who? meow.

Fashion Catterly Winter 2010

Quelle Surrrprise! here I am looking hot in the new Fashion Catterly Winter 2010. Make up by the amazing Amber Deez @ MAC and fur grooming by the amazing team at Stephens Marrs Salon. Sensual and sexual to the hilt. The hilt I tell you. meow meow.

Drop Dead Feelers

Hay Hay y'all... here's a sexy pic of me sitting in my favourite red leather movie chair at home. With the shitty weather of late, I've taken to not turning up to any of my jobs these past few days and decided to sit at home painting my claws and watching dvds.

My gurl Amanda took this pic of me while we were both watching Drop Dead Gorgeous. Amazing. There's a scene in the film where Kirsten Dunst's character, Amber Atkins, tap dances to Pressure Man by The Feelers. Not bad for a band from Christchurch.

Amy Adams, Denise Richards, Kirsten Dunst

To be honest, The Feelers should have broken up after this came out, it really was the highlight of their career.

 Whoever asked them to get back together and sing the 2011 Rugby World Cup anthem for the All Blacks should be shot.

That's how Zumi sees it.

x meow

Horny cat

This is my girlfriend Catline Weber on a shoot for Cat Dazed & Confused with Sabastian Catena and stylist Nicocat Formichetti. cutie poo! werrk those antlers gurrrl ...purrrrrrr!

Alejandro's...Just let me go!

Alejandro Asian

Alejandro Poochie

Alejandro Tao

Alejandro YSL

Alejandro Ranya

Alejandro Loca

Alejandro Irina

Alejandro iD magazine

Alejandro Chanel puta

Alejandro Gaga. Te quiero. meow.x

Alejandro Zumi

Thinking of cutting my sensual dove grey fur into a bowl cut somehow. But I think this wig will suffice for the time being. meow...Today I, Zumi Reeley, the most fashionable cat in the world, announce today, June 9th, as Alejandro bowl cut appreciation day.

Pointless

Here I am snuggling up to Vinnie. He's a male tomcat model. We're just friends, although we have slept together in the past. I'm going to be posting up more pictures of male tomcat models from time to time as an excuse to put up pictures of male model tomcats I'd like to sleep with.

anyways, hope you all had a wonderful Queenie poo birthday holiday. Today I hung out with Vinnie, painted my claws, went for a prowl around the garden, caught up on all the cat goss with Cat Grazia and made a list of pointless things. Here they are:

Miley Cyrus (not Hannah Montana)

Brand Power commercials

New Zealand's Next Top Model: Cycle 2...

Christobelle who?

Werrking mothers unite.

I get asked quite a bit about whether or not I'd eventually want to have kittens one day. I guess that's the price I pay for being famous. Everyone wants to know everything about you. I think eventually when I settle down with the right Tomcat I'll want to have kittens, but right now, I'm too in love with my work and myself.

Here's a picture of me early in 2009 with my nephew Wilbert. He's such a little cutie poos. Don't I look maternal yet hot? I'd be such a milf if I was human.

Here are some working mothers who I would probably be like once I have kittens. I empathise with the hard life they must have balancing motherhood and being shrewd business women.

Kimora Lee Simmons. You know you've made it when you've got yourself a Puerto Rican maid, and a re-toucher that can't say no to you and your memo on making your waist look concave. So jeliz.

Melania Trump. When you live in a gold penthouse at the top of Trump tower, there really isn't any reason to venture out into the real world. I bet Melania thinks it's still 1998 outside, and she walks around Trump Tower everyday pushing a 24K gold pram in 24K gold Manolo Blahniks. Amazing.

Victoria Beckham:  I bet Romeo's first words were 'Dolce & Gabbana'. You know Posh has her prioities in place when she's putting her son's Ralph Lauren kidswear order in for next season over making their lunch. Loves it.

Dry humping in Cannes.

My girlfriend Tabby Lee Kershaw just sent this picture of herself in Cannes last month. So funny! she couldn't believe how open minded some of the locals were! here she is gasping in horror at these two cats in heat having a root al fresco style. It reminded me of this picture of Polly and Grant from ZM:

This promo shot has been around for a while, but it always leaves me some what bewildered. What the f***k are these two doing? I don't know what's more distracting, Polly's blow job mouth or the fact that Grant looks like he's trying to kill Polly. And I really don't want to know what's going on below the belt either. Polly want a cracker? or Polly want you to get the f***k off her back? meow.

He love the way I ride the beat, ri-ride the beat, like a fr-freak oh

This is my girlfriend Snoosh. We met during casting calls for my new music video. I was on the look out for cats that had that X-factor. Snoosh just walked into the studio, turned on her ghetto blaster and started cutting these crazy shapes to Ciara's new single 'Ride' featuring Ludacris. So sexual. I knew then and there that I had to have her as my back up dancer. We got on like a house on fire. However I made sure she was wearing an ugly outfit, so that she didn't outshine me.

Charity werrk.

I Like to do my bit for charity. It's good for the Zumi brand. Here's a picture of me last year visiting some orphans. This year I'm excited about donating all the record sales for my single 'Sweet Dreams Of A Single Cats Ego' to a charity for other cats who want a career in music.

Here's a picture of Donatella doing her bit for charity. So inspirational. She knows the value of a good photo op with kids, and I totally love that. Good for the Versace brand. meow. x